Hi, This is Ellis.

So yeah. Where do I start?!

Ok. Well, my name is Ellis.. or then again no.. But let's just call me Ellis.

I'm a computer geek in the computer world working 9 to 5 in a office and at the moment I am not so quite happy with my job. Or something like that. I used to be happy with the job concept and all, but now it's getting tiring without any great expectations and without any passion I pass my days. I have had my fair share of bad bosses, been made redundant because I wasn't pretty enough and so on.. I have been thinking about switching my area in work but then again - wouldn't get paid like that anywhere else. Not that I am earning millions, just enough to support myself and own a damn car.

Life in general should be good for me - loving family, loving hopefully soon-to-be hubby with whom I live at a nice house in countryside with three bad-ass cats and a huge garden. Good friends whom I see rarely but I love them to pieces and we talk a lot on the Internet. Everything seems picturesque.

But why I feel that I need a blog? Besides the lack of motivation at work I also feel rather depressed from time to time. I have a lousy health which problems I haven't still found out - I have bradycardia, lactose intolerance and have a mess or rather none at all that is supposed to be my lady-life. And I am somewhat anxious of what I eat and  how I look and sometimes it tends to be quite not so much food for a day. I am not considering myself with a severe eating disorder or such a thing. I have just excluded some non-healthy stuff and try to be more healthy... and it has made me more depressed. And I guess I have a rather wrong idea of healthy food.

Also I tend to do a lot..besides working I try to do my best to keep the house and garden in order, have a good relationship with my parents, visit them often, work work work not feeling..

So now I have reached some kind of a point in my life from where I just want to move ahead and start loving life and myself. Start focusing on my own needs and dreams for a while. All I want is just to rediscover the joys of life, good food, my loves, exercise, being back to my old fun self instead of being the grumpy old bitch. And then start a family which a part of me yearns for and the other part is feared to death of. :)

***

So let's start with today?

Woke up as usual at 6:20 to get ready for work. My dear man (further known as M) has to stay at home from work for today due to some construction going on at home. So yeah.. neat.. I moaned. Not because I had to wake up at early hours but because I am the only one being at work sick and tired.

For breakfast I had my unpictured two slices of good yeastless rye bread with cheese (no butter) and a huge cup of good black sugarless joe. I also add to it a huge-ass apple I ate at work and another rather strong coffee.

I usually have my lunch outside (and it usually consists of a piece of meat (chicken or fish typically) and a lot of salad. But today I want to leave early so I forked together this thingy:

Low lactose cottage cheese with homegrown tomato and cucumber, pinch of salt, glass of water, tea and apple

For dinner I'm gonna have something different, yet spiced a lot. I love different spices.. For exaple yesterday I had this. It was huge but very much delicious:

Cabbage, home-grown tomatoes, a splash of soya sauce, spices: cinnamon, paprika, curry, chilly, regular pepper.  And a huge slice of cheese on top.

For sweets I had a cup of kefir with a log cinnamon in it. Simple, yet delicious. Later I also had an apple, some cucumber, some more cabbage for munch. Also few raisins and a carrot. For lunch I had a chicken thigh (skinless) and salad and half a piece of rye. I guess that's not much or a lot. But I was full.

Now I just can't wait to get back home. And it is still too early. :(